Slow down (or stop) to speed up.
And... we're back!
Oopsie, it’s been a month since my last send. But I’m back. And this time, we have art! Look at this banner! Isn’t it beautiful? Doesn’t it just make you want to go for a run—and not just an everyday run, but a run in a new place, somewhere that smells really good? And it’s like a really slow, really happy run, and you feel like a million bucks? No? Just me? Okay. Well, I hope you find it soothing anyway.
That’s what I’m going for with this newsletter: I want Easy Pace to soothe you. It’s a place you can feel good about running for running’s sake. Not stressed by not fitting in, not worried about or even all that engaged with that thing most runner’s obsess over at least a little: “progress.” The point here is to lean in to the joy of running.
To be honest, I’ve had trouble finding joy in running lately. This winter was horrible: dark, so snowy, so lonely, and senselessly deadly for so many people. I spent every miserable day of February literally counting the minutes of sunlight added. I never really felt like putting on my fleece leggings and tying my shoes, but somehow I still did it most days (or you know, half the days at least). March was better, but I got swept up in work and volunteering: hunting for vaccine appointments for people in need, filling the community fridge, both endeavors that felt so much more important than my fitness routine. And then at the beginning of April I took a much-needed vacation: a road trip to Florida to see my family for my baby sister’s wedding.
I had 8 days off from work and all responsibilities. Normally, I’d absolutely revel in running on vacation—I love running in unfamiliar places. But this vacation, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to, and I told myself after so many months of what felt like suffocating stress, I was going to use this week off to do only the things I wanted to do.
It actually freaked me out a little bit that I had no urge to go. With fitness stuff, people often talk about “staying motivated” which I’ve never really understood. For the most part, I don’t feel motivated to run. Motivation implies a larger, outside reason for doing something, like health benefits or weight loss. I have no reason for running. It’s an urge that doesn’t make any sense, which is probably why I associate it with magic.
When I got home from the drive to Florida I was pretty drained. I forced myself to run when I got back, and I loathed every step. Straight-up abhorred it. After two terrible tries I started feeling like I don’t even know who I am anymore (which is maybe a sign I am over-identifying with this silly thing I do to get my heart rate up. But we’ll gloss over that for now.)
But, I let it go. I cleaned my apartment and watched no fewer than 12 episodes of NCIS on Netflix. Eventually, I found my center (I guess?) and remembered I’ve been here before and I know a way back. There’s a familiar sidewalk in my brain, a road back to that urge to run that has never failed me before. It’s called: “whatever feels good works.”
I reminded myself that I run because I want to, and if I really don’t like this 5k plan I’m doing or whatever, then I don’t have to do it. I can do something else. I can do nothing at all. I’m actually in control of this entire endeavor. I thought back to times when I was really enjoying the feeling of being in my body, and I remembered an 8-week bodyweight HIIT plan I did last fall. I felt really fit and too tired to be anxious. So now I’m doing that—and what do you know, I’m also running. It dawned on me that maybe combining my running workouts with HIIT would feel new and interesting, and all of a sudden, I found the urge.
My workouts this week have all been spectacular. They’re imperfect as always, but I’ve been able to lose myself in movement again. Each run has featured a sunset or a traipse through blooming trees, reminders of the sparkling beauty that can be found when you look for it. My point here is that the second running stops feeling like this, you should stop doing it. Maybe you need a break. Maybe you need to mix it up. Maybe you need both, like I did.
If you’ve been feeling this way, you’re not alone. It’s okay to slow down—or even stop. Sometimes it’s exactly what’s needed to get back up to speed. Let this be your permission to do as you please.
Other things to think about while running this week…
”Justice looks like abolition.”
That feeling a lot of us are feeling is “languishing.” Naming it is how you can feel better.
This dive into “Chirogram” a.k.a the strange world of famous chiropractors and their viral back-cracking videos.
The GOAT leaves Nike for Athleta, the maker of (imo) the best running shorts ever made! Love this for her.